Angered by the well-publicised launch in Kochi of a partially complete aircraft carrier INS Vikrant, the London-based Exclusive Club of Nations (ECN) turned down India’s latest membership application as premature.
“We are getting tired of constantly receiving incomplete applications from India,” said John Higgin-Botham, the secretary of the club. “I don’t see a command centre on that flight deck, a radar or any weapons systems. Do you?”
“Just the other day they sent in another application after the reactor on their indigenous nuclear submarine went critical,” said club treasurer Olusegun Ayotunde. “Call me old fashioned but I think a submarine should go underwater first.”
“The pressure from the government and media to send in fresh applications every week is getting embarrassing for us,” confessed Dr. Jaimini Bhagwati, India’s High Commissioner in London. “Between you and me I’ve asked David Cameron to require a bond of three lakh crore rupees to guard against frivolous applications.”
“Somehow the Indians don’t show the same enthusiasm to join the Exclusive Club of Nations that have achieved universal literacy, sanitation and food security,” said ECN website editor P Somnath. “Did I mention that I’m Indian and brown?”